How to Write Wedding Vows That Truly Reflect You

Is your wedding anytime soon? First of all, congratulations! You must have so much to prepare for, like the venue, the cake, the wedding favors, wedding hashtag ideas, and the wedding vows! How to write wedding vows that wow your audience? Writing wedding vows is a big deal, and there’s no doubt about it.

Not every day you stand in front of the love of your life (and a crowd of teary-eyed friends and family) to pour out your heart. But the thing is that your vows don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be you. And in this guide, we’ll tell you exactly how to be yourself in your wedding vows! Let’s learn how to write wedding vows that are heartfelt and maybe even get a laugh or two.

Why You Should Care About How To Write Wedding Vows

We sincerely hope you’re not one of the few who think wedding vows are just another box to check off your wedding to-do list. Yes, you can hire a freelancer to write something fun for you or simply whip up something at the moment. But before you do so, just remember that they’re your promises to your partner. Your wedding vows are your declaration of love and commitment and must be uniquely yours.

Think about it: decades from now, you’ll remember this moment (and you’ll have to narrate it to your kids and grandkids as well). You’ll probably forget what the cake tasted like or which cousin talked about your dress behind your back, but what were those words you spoke? Those words will stick till the end. So yes, wedding vows matter. But don’t let that scare you because it’s your love story, and no one knows it better than you do.

How to Start Wedding Vows Step-By-Step

Let’s break down how to write wedding vows into simple and easy steps for you to follow:

Step 1: Get Started

The first step is always the hardest, right? Don’t sweat because we’ve got your back. Grab a notebook (or open your Notes app) and answer these questions:

• What do you love most about your partner?
• What’s your favourite memory together?
• Why did you fall in love with them?
• What makes your relationship unique?
• What’s a promise you want to keep forever?
• How has your life changed since meeting them?
• What promises are most important to you?

This isn’t the time to filter or organize, so just let your thoughts flow. It doesn’t matter if it’s a random sentence, a half-formed idea, or even a word that reminds you of something meaningful. The goal here is to capture the raw emotions and memories.

Here Are Some Examples:

• “I love how you scrunch your nose when you’re trying to solve a crossword puzzle.”
• “Remember when we got caught in the rain on that hike? I knew I could face anything with you by my side.”

Step 2: Find Your Voice

Remember we told you how your vows need to sound like YOU? This is what we’re going to do in this step. Think about how you want your vows to sound. Are you naturally poetic, or do you lean toward humour? Maybe you’re straightforward and honest. There’s no right or wrong way because what matters is that your vows sound like you.

Make sure your tone in the wedding vows resembles your tone in daily life so that they are relatable to your partner. Don’t worry about who’s listening during the ceremony. This is your chance to tell your partner how much they mean to you in your own words, so only keep them in mind.

Step 3: Organize Your Thoughts

Once you have a list of ideas, start grouping them into themes. Maybe one section is about the journey of your relationship, another about the qualities you love most in your partner, and a third about your promises.

Here’s an example of how this might look:

• Introduction: A sweet or funny memory.
• Middle: What do you love about them and your relationship?
• End: Your promises and hopes for the future.

This outline doesn’t have to be rigid, but having a structure can make the writing process feel less daunting.

Step 4: Start Writing (Imperfectly)

Now that you have your ideas organized start turning them into sentences. Remember, this is a rough draft, and it’s okay if it’s messy. Write your wedding vows like you’re speaking directly to your partner.

Example Of A First Draft Opening:

“When I met you, I never imagined we’d end up here. I mean, who knew a chance encounter at that awful karaoke night would lead to this? But here we are, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

This process might take a few tries, and that’s okay! Writing wedding vows is about crafting words that reflect your heart, and hearts don’t always speak in perfect sentences. Keep it real, keep it personal, and keep going.

How To Write Wedding Vows Following A Simple Structure

Follow this simple, foolproof formula to get started with writing your own wedding vows:

Start With A Memory That Melts Hearts (Or Brings Laughter)

Begin with a personal story or moment that captures the essence of your relationship. This could be the day you realized they were “the one,” a funny misadventure, or a quiet moment that felt like pure magic. Starting with a memory makes your vows uniquely yours and draws everyone into your love story.

Your beginning is going to be different from everyone else because your story is different from everyone else. Maybe you had a love-at-first-sight moment (mostly at a coffee shop), or you might have known them for so long but didn’t realize it until that one rainy day. Make sure you begin your wedding vows with a moment that actually matters a lot to you.

Pro Tip: If you don’t know what moment of yours will fit these criteria, try recalling the memory that lives rent-free in your brain (like all the time!). That’s the point you want to begin with!

For Example:

• “I knew I loved you the moment you stayed on the phone with me for hours while I tried (and failed) to assemble IKEA furniture.”

Pour Out Your Promises (The Heart Of Your Vows)

Now, it’s time to talk about the promises you want to make to your partner, and these are the heart of your wedding vows. This is where you pledge your love, loyalty, and partnership. Be honest, specific, and true to yourself. Avoid clichés like “I’ll get you a G-Wagon” (unless you actually can), and focus on what feels meaningful to your relationship.

For Example:

• “I promise to cheer you on, whether it’s a new job, a marathon, or your quest to find the world’s best taco.”
• “I vow to always save you the last French fry, even though I really, really don’t want to.”

Your promises don’t have to be grand gestures; even small, everyday commitments can mean the world. The key is to make them personal and heartfelt, and only you will know what promise your partner will appreciate.

Dream About The Future Together

Finally, it’s time to end your vows by looking ahead. What do you hope for your life together? What are you excited to experience as a team? Try to share your vision for the future to add a hopeful and optimistic touch to your vows. Yes, this is the exact moment when all the bridesmaids will go like, “Aw,” and your parents will wipe off each other’s tears, so make it count!

For Example:

• “Together, I know we’ll build a life full of joy, support, and endless inside jokes.”

This final section is your “happily ever after” moment. It’s a chance to remind your partner of the beautiful journey ahead.

Avoid These Wedding Vow Traps (Trust Us, You’ll Thank Us Later)

It’s easy to get carried away when writing your wedding vows. To keep your vows heartfelt, memorable, and, well, not cringe-worthy, avoid these common pitfalls:

Too Many Inside Jokes

We get it; your relationship is full of quirky, hilarious moments only the two of you truly understand. But while it’s great to sprinkle in one or two personal touches, don’t overdo it. Too many “remember that time at the taco stand” references might leave your guests scratching their heads (or worse, zoning out).

Grand Promises You Can’t Keep

It’s tempting to go big with sweeping statements like, “I’ll never let you down” or “I promise to make you happy every single day.” But let’s be real: no one is perfect, and marriage is about embracing each other’s imperfections. Instead, focus on promises you can truly live by, like always being there to listen, supporting their dreams, or sticking together through life’s ups and downs.

Making It All About You

While it’s natural to share your feelings, don’t let your vows turn into a monologue about how amazing you are for loving them. Your vows should celebrate your partner, your relationship, and your future together. Try to find a balance between sharing your emotions and highlighting what makes them so special.

Forgetting to Practice

The last thing you want is to trip over your words or lose your train of thought because you’re too nervous. Practice your vows out loud a few times to make sure they flow naturally and sound like you. This also helps you catch any awkward phrasing or unnecessary fluff.

Pro Tip: Get some audience (your trustworthy best friends), and practice in front of them. Who knows, they might even give you some advice on how to write wedding vows or improve your wedding toasts.

Get Inspiration From These Examples

Here are some unique wedding vows examples written by Arvin AI that you can take inspiration from:

Pro Tip: Arvin AI can also help you write your 50th wedding anniversary wishes, just give it a command!

What If You Cry While Reading Your Vows?

Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, you might cry while reading your wedding vows. Your partner might cry. Your mom might cry. And guess what? It’s beautiful. If your voice cracks or you have to pause, just go with it. These are raw, emotional moments, and that’s what makes it real. In fact, your goal should be how to write wedding vows that leave the audience in tears!

FAQS About How To Write Wedding Vows

Here are a few of the most frequently asked questions about how to write wedding vows:

How many sentences are in a vow?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule about how many sentences a wedding vow should have, but typically, a vow is made up of 5 to 10 sentences. 

How long should my wedding vows be?

Ideally, aim for about 1-2 minutes. This gives you enough time to share your heart without losing your audience’s attention. If you’re unsure, practice reading your vows aloud while timing yourself. This helps ensure your words flow naturally and fit within the timeframe.

What are some Examples of Wedding Vows?

Here are some examples of wedding vows:

• I promise to love, honor, and cherish you forever.
• In sickness and in health, I vow to stand by your side.
• You are my everything, today and always.

Can I include quotes or song lyrics in my vows?

Definitely! If a favorite quote, poem, or song lyric perfectly captures your feelings, it can add a special touch to your vows. Just make sure it complements your own words; don’t rely solely on someone else’s work to express your love.

Should I memorize my vows?

Memorizing your vows can feel more intimate and personal, but only if you’re confident you won’t forget them in the moment. Wedding-day nerves are real! To avoid stumbling, bring a written copy as a backup. It’s perfectly acceptable to read from it because your heartfelt words will shine through either way.

Take Home Message

Your wedding vows are the first chapter in the story of your married life. It is a chapter where you get to say, “This is who I am, this is who we are, and this is what I promise to you.” It’s okay to feel a little nervous or even overwhelmed. After all, capturing your love in a few sentences is no small task.

Remember, the most beautiful vows aren’t about perfect words; they’re about authentic ones. And if the words feel stuck, you can always get help from Arvin AI on how to write wedding vows (or even wedding guest Instagram captions). So take a deep breath, trust yourself, and write from the heart. You’ve got this!